As I was channel surfing last night (Jenn was on the phone, the Braves had just blown Maddux’s chance at 15 wins over 16 years, and ‘The OC’ was TiVo-ing), I came across a program on PBS, Flashpoints USA. Bryant Gumbel hosted an in-depth discussion and investigation entitled “Truth or Lies” that examined issues of media bias and objectivity. The most interesting segment was a taped interview of Faux News’ Bill O’Reilly. The interview, intersepersed with tape of his radio and TV programs, ended with this gem of a quote concerning Al Franken and his new book:

“If Al Franken is a satirist, then I’m Jennifer Lopez”. I’m paraphraing, but you get the idea. Read the extended entry for the email I sent to O’Reilly. If any of you has the stomach to watch his show this week, let me know if my comments make it to air. I’d love to burn a copy of his new book.

Dear Mr. O’Reilly,

I recently watched a segment on PBS hosted by Bryant Gumbel in which you stated that if, and I’m paraphrasing here, “If Al Franken is a satirist, then I’m Jennifer Lopez”.

Let me be the first to offer my regrets then, Ms. Lopez, that your impending nuptials with Ben Affleck have fallen through. I really thought you two would make it. You can always go back to P Diddy.

P.S. – I hope this email makes it to air on your show to keep up with your “Fair and Balanced” quota; I’d love to have a copy of your new book to burn.

Seth Miller
Smyrna, Georgia