Nagging Guilt

I’m feeling incredibly guilty for not staying in touch with my Cousin Nate over in Japan. For a while there, especially around Thanksgiving of last year, the two of us were corresponding almost daily via email, instant message or the blog. We even tried the video conferencing features of Yahoo! Instant Messenger since I’m Mac-less and Nate is an iChat hound. It was our only option, but the paltry framerate (2 fps) was abyssmal. Sometime between that time and the New Year, when Nate was stateside visiting his folks and when we were supposed to get together, we dropped out of each others routine.

Cut to today at the office and I’m burning CDs of JPEGs and TIFFs for a vendor. Amid all the downtime and whirring of fans and motors, I start to clean my desk. Underneath a pile of months-old papers and copies of TV Guide I find a CD marked “For Seth”. I fired up the G4 and watched as Nate detailed his everyday life in Kurume while my PC did all my “work” for the morning.

I couldn’t believe how selfish I had been to disregard such a wonderful gesture on Nate’s part. Here I was, thousands of miles away making excuses about how busy I was, while Nate took the time to not only film hours of footage, but also send a personal video letter to me as well. I can only imagine how one-sided our relationship must feel to him and now I’m overcome with guilt that I’ve made time to blog about my life to God and everyone yet somehow left him out.

Let me say right now how sorry I am, Nate, that I didn’t make time for you. The CD was amazing: the letter, the documentary, the school project, the ultimate frisbee. All of it. Simply amazing. You are living this adventurous, wide-eyed life in a place that is completely foreign to me and your entire family and yet you manage to thrive. The optimism and energy that always defined your personality for me are still there, amplified by the uniqueness of your current situation.

I’m sorry it took me so long to let you know how cool I think it is that you not only live this life but that you want to share it with me. Thanks for making me feel special, I’ll try to be a better cousin and do the same for you. Who knows, I might even post your videos to me and vice versa so folks can live vicariously through the both of us. What do you say? Is all forgiven?

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