Grand Unification Theory

My last post about pop (that’s right, pop. not soda. not coke. pop.) made me re-think my approach to carbonated beverage purchasing. Normally, I like to stick with a cola: Coke or Pepsi normally, but I do like the Vanilla variants of both brands. I wanted to be a cool kid; hip, trendy, in-the-know, so I picked up a 20 oz. bottle of Mountain Dew LiveWire just for kicks.

MDLW is the natural progression from traditional, caffeine-laden Mountain Dew, and Mountain Dew Code Red. Per the packaging it is “Mountain Dew Sparked with Orange”. I guess the flavor and marketing are supposed to appeal to the same market as the “Remix” flavors Sprite offers as well as countless other soda derivatives. I’m new to this game, but there are plenty of other interested parties.

The soda itself isn’t that shocking, pardon the pun, but I was drawn in by a promotion featured prominently on the label. Dew U promises free “Dew gear” if you collect enough points, conveniently found under the cap of your favorite Dew beverage. This sounds strikingly similar to the current CokeMusic.com or the Apple iTunes/Pepsi deal, minus the music. I’m a fan of both of those promos, so I was intrigued.

What further caught my eye was the fact that “Dew U” was sponsored by Yahoo! If you haven’t groaned over that one yet, here it is: Dew U Yahoo! Clever, huh?

The delightul synergy of Yahoo! and Dew made my think of my brother-in-law who works for Yahoo! He recently mentioned an article in The Onion and Yahoo!’s very funny response to that article.

Which brings me to my grand unification theory: Mountain Dew is the life-blood that powers all creativity in the universe. It obviously has had a profound effect on the authors of The Onion and the programmers at Yahoo! It also led me to this incredibly incoherent and creative, albeit pointless, post today.

Mountain Dew: secret sauce from which all blessings flow.

One thought on “Grand Unification Theory

  1. Nathan Miller says:

    URGH!!!!!
    It is poison!!!
    It makes you fat, gives you bad gas, shoots your blood sugar to the roof, it is like a pre-school version of herion.
    Caffine and Sugar…urgh….
    Drink more beer.

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