Costumes are cool, but Heaven is awesome!

You know what, Halloween is an evil holiday. It’s filled with ghost, goblins and ghouls. It’s populated by axe murderers, psychopaths and the criminally insane. It’s all about Frankenstein, Dracula and the Wolfman. And I like it that way.

Please, for the love of your god, don’t try and convert me on a night designed to celebrate the dark designs of all things purely evil. It just isn’t right. Plus, the devil hates competition.

So last night an overweight, middle-aged couple was handing out Wendy’s Frosty coupons, small Snickers bars and a religious “tract” from ATSKids.com.

The tract was slightly less inflammatory than the infamous Chick Tracts, but no less offensive to me.

If you don’t like Halloween because of your religion, that’s fine. Leave your porch dark, or gather at your church or go to a rally or protest. But please don’t proselytize to my heathen, atheist child.

I only came to your door because the lights were on. If you truly object to all things quasi-pagan, then isn’t preaching under the ruse of the holiday of darkness some kind of sin?

In any event, I think it’s even creepier than Halloween to behave this way. It’s not like I give out presents with Sartre quotes on Christmas, so don’t sully my day with your agenda.

Jesus freaks!

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