Sugar Bowled

It’s not yet the end of the 1st Quarter of the Nokia Sugar Bowl and already the West Virginia Mountaineers have a 21-0 lead. Now I’m an optimist, but even I don’t think the Bulldogs can overcome this kind of beatdown. I don’t think it’s insurmountable, but it is more than a hefty load to bear.

Only 2 first downs for the Bulldogs, no completed passes and a terrible fumble. What looked so promising on the first snap – a deep route that should have been a 60-yard completion – has turned into an absolute route by WVU. Everytime they run, UGA looks like they didn’t even know the ball was snapped.

The entire thing thus far has been one gigantic clusterfuck. I can’t remember the last time a Georgia has looked this bad. Additionally, I can’t recall ever swearing this much in an hour before.

I have a pit in my stomach that’s about to reach critical mass, implode and then form a black hole. I’ve got to go throw up or punch a wall or something. This is just too much.

Fucking couch-burning bastards.

GO DAWGS!!!

UPDATE: Another goddamn turnover and I’m just about to lose my shit. The foundation of my house may not withstand all the jumping up and down I’m doing.

I swear to you, the Bulldogs had better make some kind of showing here and not just fold up tent and surrender. I’ll be damned if a bunch of hill folk (who are 1-11 in their last 12 bowl appearances) are going to steamroll my Dawgs!

UPDATE II: FUCK ALL! The only saving grace of this entire debacle is that I didn’t make any emberassing bets with WVU alumni. If I had, no doubt I’d be wearing a coonskin cap to work tomorrow. As it stands, I’ll just be incredibly pissed off and hoarse.

GET IN THE FUCKING GAME!

UPDATE III: Whadda ya know! I pop a vein in my forehead and all of a sudden, UGA reels off two huge TD runs. It’s 28-14 now, but my fingers are still tightly crossed.

UPDATE IV: Leonard Pope is the Bill Brasky of college football: he’s ten feet tall and he sweats bourbon. His TD before the half made it 31-21 and the Dawgs are on a 21-3 run since falling behind 28-0.

Home crowd, a little momentum and a half of football left to play. Would I be asking too much of the deity to see this one end 42-38 Dawgs?

Who knows. GO DAWGS!

UPDATE V: Thomas Brown fumbles again and we’re doing our best to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Pray for a WVU turnover to help us out; we sorely need it.

UPDATE VI: UGA finally forces WVU to go 3 and out, then you tack on two false start penalties, which should result in good field position and Thomas Flowers decides to take THAT punt on a hop? What is wrong with this picture? It’s like Bizarro Sugar Bowl tonight!

UPDATE VII: WVU SHOCKED! First a huge 3rd down run and then a perfect TD throw! It’s 31-28 and UGA has the momentum!

GO DAWGS!

UPDATE VIII: An injure WVU receiver (two in fact), only 3 points down and an entire quarter of football. This is where legends are born.

GO DAWGS!

UPDATE IX: After one of the circle-jerkiest timeout/ball-spot/play under review sequences ever, UGA punts and (thankfully) forces the ball out of bounds inside WVU’s 5. Please, Lord, let me have this win.

UPDATE X: Well, it was a nice dream while it lasted. Actually, no it wasn’t. It was an abomination of defensive football and now that WVU has another long TD and ten point lead late in the fourth quarter, I’m officially emotionally drained.

The Mountaineers wanted this game more. This will not be the winningest Georgia class ever and they only have themselves to blame. That and the damn spread offense.

Whatever.

Good night, all. No sugar raining from the sky tonight. Just a horrible case of Munson-itis and no joy in the Miller house.

Fuck all, I wanted this season to end on a high note against the predictions of the “experts”. That ship has sailed so I’m getting some sleep. I have work tomorrow and I have a cranky, ornery image to uphold. No trouble there.

Once a dawg, always a dawg. How sweet it should have been.

UPDATE XI: Well, dammit, when I said I wanted a 42-38 victory I didn’t mean it like this! Holy Shit!

GO DAWGS!

UPDATE XII: 1:45 before the punt, two timeouts – we’re 3 points down and over a thousand miles away from Chicago. Blues Brothers and Bulldogs, don’t fail me now!

UPDATE XIII: Just before the snap, I warned Jenn that WVU would run out of the punt formation for a first down. I HATE IT WHEN I’M RIGHT!

Fucking-A! Did it not occur to ANYONE on the Georgia sideline that the goofy punt formation might be used for trickery at some point!

GODDAMNIT! I wanted a victory, or at least a shot at victory!

Suffering this defeat is the same kind of grinding, gnawing, horrible, painful, slow death I felt during the Auburn game. Getting blown out by 28 seems merciful by comparison.

UPDATE XIV: THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH BARBARIC YAWPS IN THE UNIVERSE TO EXPRESS MY ANGER WITH THE OUTCOME OF THIS FOOTBALL GAME!

Sleep well, assholes. I hate all of you tonight, especially hakeber.

Kissy-boo, motherfuckers.

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