Here’s the premise: I’m going to start a semi-regular feature here where I pitch a movie as if my opinion matters and that you, the reader, are a gaggle of Hollywood execs.

Sounds simple? It is.

First off, a bad idea whose time has come (and would, in my eyes, almost certainly be greenlit (greenlighted?)): Cap’n Crunch: The Movie!

Pirates are hot right now. Disney did an entire trilogy based on a theme park ride, so the current pop culture environment is ripe to take advantage of a beloved breakfast icon who just happens to have a nautical theme: Cap’n Crunch.

Second, Jay Ward cartoons have been movies before.

George of the Jungle.
Dudley Do-Right.
Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Who cares if they all bombed and 2/3 of them starred Brendan Fraser? Not me.

You could make your money back on the DVD and cable rights, plus Fraser is probably still free from some fat-suit prosthesis, a fake mustache and that blue hat.

Also, I’d have Judd Apatow direct. He loves the comedies and his wife starred in George of the Jungle so it’d be a natural fit.

All we need now is some veteran British actor to play the villain, say Peter O’Toole since he’s on the comeback trail, and we’re all set.

What say you?

Cap’n Crunch: The Movie (Summer 2008)
Brendan Fraser – Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch
Peter O’Toole – Squish the Sogmaster
Leslie Mann – Mermaid love interest
Directed by Judd Apatow