Ass!

Building off yesterday’s discussion of paired words, I got to thinking about cursing.
You know, swearing.
Dirty words and such.

The kind of thing you say in front of your children while frustrated with traffic and then regret later on when they repeat it, parrot-style.

If you’re not a parent, imagine.

One of the most popular and enduring curses refers to either the posterior/buttocks region or an equine relative. I mean, of course, ass.

Here are a few of my favorite usages and variations and whom in my extended family is fondest of said phrase:

  • Jackass
  • My own personal favorite. Short. Sweet. Easily mungable (run the syllables together to avoid the Kid or the Wife hearing).

  • Asshat/Asshattery
  • My brother Thad uses this one almost non-stop. I always picture a little bowler on the cherry cheek of some British dandy. You?

  • Well-digger’s ass/Grave-digger’s ass
  • Used almost exclusively by my Dad as in “it’s colder than a well-digger’s ass outside”. The man is a walking colorful metaphor spouter.

  • Up Mike’s ass
  • My Mother-in-Law says this every time she’s feeling overwhelmed or just plain ornery. Ex: Jenn: ‘Where is the brown mustard, Mom?’ Dottie: ‘Up Mike’s ass!’

    Charming, innit?

  • Horse’s ass
  • My paternal grandfather liked to refer to people as Horse’s asses. I tend to agree, I just find Jackass quicker and easier.

Got a favorite curse, ass or not? Share it. I promise not to tell your employer.

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