It’s about loss of self or discovery of self and just plain searching.

God could be part of that, but I’m not so sure what I believe anymore. Or if I believe or truly want to believe.

good luck.

you know where i stand on these questions, but i will say this, it was a long and very complicated journey to get there and one that still isn’t over.

you’ve read my picks of the week so you know i read a ton of theology and that’s because i still have a ton of questions and i am still searching for a ton of answers.

Sounds like you are just having a moment of “really? REALLY? What am I doing here?”, and if that is the case, just try not to over think it. But hey, what do I know, my inner monologues are so fucking annoying these days that I would just love a few moments of peace and quiet.

For me, though, it’s sort of backwards. I’m personally religious, but not into organized religion. For me, it’s tricky to admit that I have faith when a lot of my friends think it’s hokum. Casual mentions of how obviously ridiculous faith is get tossed around my circles without hesitation. And why shouldn’t they? It’s what a lot of people believe.

They’re entitled. So am I. So are you. There’s a point to politeness, but it’s to make people not feel shitty.

Consider, though, that a lot of rituals are cultural artifacts whose functions are social as much as spiritual. You don’t have to buy into something to respect it as an artifact, performance, or practice.

Blow something out of proportion and it looks funny, grainy, blurry.

Simple question for your own orientation: What would it take to break your inertia?

And I don’t feel particularly compelled to doing some of the things in my life or even expected or required or anything.

I just feel like the inertia of my life is drawing me nearer and nearer to a black hole void I’d rather not fall down.

I chose to hurt her feelings. She got over it.

That’s the choice I’ve found myself making more and more lately, and it’s been working for me. YMMV though.