An early Festivus list

Since I’m all about airing grievances here, there and everywhere, I thought I’d do what I do best: bitch in a bulleted list.

  1. The fact that my kids (and, therefore, myself) are aging.
  2. I just had a birthday (where I vented my spleen), Owen is repeating the last word of every sentence we utter and Raelyn asked about the origins of man the other. No kidding.

    It went like this:

    Rae: Mom & Dad?
    Us: Yes.
    Rae: How did the first person get born?
    Us: [Reverent silence while we waited for her to finish her thought]
    Rae: I mean, if people come out of Mommies’ tummies then where did the first people come from?

    I won’t recount the entire exchange, but Jennifer hit the highlights of the Judeo-Christian Creationism versus the Agnostic/Atheist Evolution arguments and ended with this flourish:

    “Dad & I feel strongly that people evolved over many thousands of years, but you’ll have to decide for yourself how things happened when you get older.”

    Can I just say, amid the doom-n-gloom, how much I LOVE my wife. I could only be happier had she mentioned Pastafarianism/The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

  3. The fact that intelligent people see problems and do nothing to solve them.
  4. If you still follow me on Twitter or Facebook, bless you. I’m dealing with a ton of lunacy/idiocy and I’m not nearly as level-headed as I should be.

    Suffice it to say I wish more people read Hugh MacLeod: Quality Isn’t Job One. Being Totally Fucking Amazing Is Job One.

    Hanging on the cube wall now.

  5. The fact that I can’t truly hate Anheiser Busch.
  6. Not me, not MNB, not The Beer Philosopher.

    At least I’m not alone.

    Must. Find. New. Whipping. Boy.

That is all.

There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life. (as tweeted)

One thought on “An early Festivus list

  1. I read your post, and went to gapingvoid. I saw an interview with an author. I continued until I read this line…”Your seminal bestseller from a few years ago, “Purple Cow”, ” and i wonder if i want to read any more.

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