I am not about to be this heavy for the rest of my life. I have a beautiful wife, an awesome child and a good job. I don’t need to spend the rest of my days complaining about “Dunlap disease”, tiredness, aching knees and pains in my lower back. Things aren’t nearly that bad currently, not by any stretch of the imagination, but my current trajectory is downward, health-wise, and upward, scale-wise.

So here is my April 1st resolution. On a day reserved for fooling people and declaring the ridiculousness of life, I’m affirming my own inner fool. I’ve been completely illogical and irresponsible with the temple that is my body. I’ve defaced it’s edifice and defamed it’s divine nature. I’ve really let myself go and I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. Things are shitty and that stops (or starts) tomorrow.

My Easter rebirth wasn’t enough. Things are too busy now in all facets of my life to sit idly by on my now 235-pound ass and enjoy the show. I feel like some kind of bearded, Vlade Divac impersonator, if such a wretched thing exists.

So I’m starting back on Atkins tomorrow. I may even go so far as to try Trimspa or Xenadrine EFX, but the jury is still out.

This is no joke. I really do look and feel like crap. It may be April Fool’s Day tomorrow, but the only one I’ve been fooling is myself. 3 months of only moderate, sporadic exercise and Quaker Oats for breakfast just ain’t cuttin’ it.

I won’t play the fool tomorrow.