Mostly Muppet

Last night was one of those rare nights that makes you believe sitcom
scripts are actually written by human beings and not mindless drones in
a hothouse, or smoking monkeys toiling over old typewrites. Jennifer
and I put together the baby’s crib. (Cue dramatic music).
To be fair, we did this once before last weekend, but it turns out that
JC Penney had given us this crib, when we had ordered this crib.
It was a real pain. JC Penney wouldn’t take the crib back without the
cardholder, my Dad, who had bought the crib for us a gift. He and my
brother Thad had to trek from Newnan to Smyrna (about an hour) and help
us get the crib back.
So now, 5 days later, JC Penney calls their house to let them know the
new crib is in. Great. Thad calls us and we finish our Papa John’s (the
new CinnaPie is terrible, btw) and head to Penney’s. When we get home
it’s almost 9:00 p.m. and Jenn says “let’s put it together.” Well,
there were 6 pieces and only 8 screws, how hard could it be? Hard. Very
hard. Extremely hard. Next to impossible.
Despite being designed for newborns, the fabrication of the screws and
the writing of the instructions was literally done by dyslexic migrant
workers. I’ve read more informative and compelling copy on the side of
a cereal box and the screws had to be coaxed quite a bit to fit in
their respective locking nuts. One connection in particular lasted 90
minutes, one episode of hysterics, two attempts by Lucy to go outside,
two “re-starts” and one liberal application of vegetable oil.
Once we got past that minor annoyance, the rest of the crib went up in
5 minutes. Of course, by this point it was midnight and we’d already
missed Emeril Live. At least we got caught up with Alton Brown and Good Eats.

My revised New Year’s resolutions now include a moratorium on the assembly of baby furniture.

My postings here are normally pretty random. Kind of like the two
modifiers in that last sentence. Unexpected. Haphazard. Sporadic.
I didn’t make many New Year’s resolutions, but I know I left one out.
I’d love to be more proactive about treating this site like a journal
and less like the trash heap (pun intended) that it is.
I’ve toyed with the idea of a photolog, now that we have a digital camera. I’ve considered changing blog technologies
as well. Mostly, I’ve thought about setting aside time to actual
writing and discussion on this site. Predetermined time that is
specifically for blogging. Can you imagine how much more inane drivel I
could put here? Well, could you?!?!
I think, no, I know that I’m going to do this. I’m going to
use this site like a journal and commit myself to sharing the minutiae
and the fluff as well as all the wonderfulness (wonderfulosity?) that
currently seeps through. I’m sure we’ll all benefit from the
experience.

Coming soon to a news network near you.

I’m feeling both very excited and very lazy today, so I’m just giving
you the story and not the links.

Jenn and I got our brand new digital camera via FedEx this morning, the
Minolta DImage F100. It looks to be very cool. We’re thinking of
returning our photo printer, the HP Photosmart 7350 in favor of the
7550 model or the Canon S900, the printer my in-laws own.

I can’t wait to get home tonight! Time to start practicing before the
baby comes!

I hate my mother-in-law and I hope she reads this. While we’re on the
topic of hate, my brother-in-law is on my shit list too. I’ve never
been around any family that had such a burning desire to be “right”
before in my entire life. I’m practically choking on self-righteousness
and ass-holiness here. I’d sooner slit my own wrists than to fulfill
any one of their expectations of my own behavior, just to prove them
wrong!