Amazing how life is like light and people you love, especially family, are like prisms refracting you back onto yourself. I just caught my own shadow tonight and it made me angry, sad, jubilant and energized all at once.

I was called black and white, while I think I’m grey. I keep thinking I’m always trying on new phases and shades, but I’m seen as wearing the same overcoat and bearing the same standard, no matter the season.

I’ll admit to rote methods and stodgy devices, but my muse is definitely esoteric. She wears a mask of my face – strong-willed and cocksure – but I’m not sure even I know why or how or where I’m driven.

3 thoughts on “Esoteric

  1. Nathan Miller says:

    If you got the time, check out Haruki Murakami’s
    “Hardboiled Wonderland and The End of the World”

    Nathan Miller…look for my Weblog to up and running within the next couple weeks.

  2. When Laurie was pregnant with Miette, in the last week or so leading up to the birth, I decided that I was going to buy a motorcycle. I realized that I was a motorcycle guy, and always had been, but I had always been missing the motorcycle. I guess I started to feel like I wanted to become the person that I saw in my head when I saw myself. It led to this really deep introspection. Which in turn led to some great all night conversations with Laurie (I just love those). I’m not sure what the point of this rant was, I guess to tell you not to underestimate the effect becoming “Daddy” will have on you. We, as men (and manly men I might add), often get overlooked when discussions are had about pregnancy, birth, and child raising. You should be prepared for the profound effect. If you want to talk about this stuff with someone who went through it (and loved it) you can always drop me a line.

  3. Great responses from both of you. This is actually about a discussion I had with my mother concerning my brother Thad. I’m frustrated that he may not attend the birth. I was made aware of the fact that I’m a potentially “scary intense” person. The muppet rears it’s fuzzy head.

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