It makes for a bitter, stagnant day trying to find something to post about, but I think I’ve got it: I’m lucky.
Sure, it’s not anything really special to say, “Gosh darnit, things aren’t so shitty!” but it’s huge for someone who wallows in self-pity/self-doubt masked as self-deprecation. Certainly, I have a great sense of self; unfortunately, that sense is numb sometimes and I need a nudge.
My thing – my little bit of uniqueness – is that I’m double-jointed in my fingers. Raelyn is too; I passed it on!
Which got me to thinking about how fun and cool and great this gig is: fatherhood, marriage, steady work that allows me introspection that only ends in low output for high expectations.
Here’s the “for instance”:
I was sick this weekend. Not just a little under the weather, I’m talking full-on porcelain buddha worship.
But we still got Owen’s 6-month photos taken (beautiful kid!), hung a bunch of frames, went to eat a few times and generally didn’t think about all the work week or real responsibility, we were just a family. Heck, I’ll get all Taoist and say we just “were” which is the best way to be a family on the weekend.
What makes me “me”? That I continually strive for these grand, amazing things only to realize I’m the most myopic sonofabitch out there.
Not so unique, actually, but it’s cathartic to type it.
A couple of bonus links that didn’t make it to Twitter but feel necessary since I’m both introspective and happy:
The Life Cycle of a Blog Post
- Today is the 22nd anniversary of the Challenger disaster. Where were you?
- Steampunk Nerf Guns
Good to know kiddies.
This one’s a downer, but it did give me perspective. I was in school watching the launch live in the lunchetorium. Teacher shut off the TV right after the rocket broke off.
This was right before the Bears won the Super Bowl (I was living in Michigan at the time), so the whole thing is linked to The Super Bowl Shuffle in my mind. Odd.
Maybe this explains my whole worldview/personality – forward-looking and hopeful but prone to tragedy.
Jenn and I actually got these guns (non-Steampunked) from Santa in our stockings, Raelyn too.
So I’m special because I’m double-jointed.
It got me laughs in Middle School and I guess it’s that kind of odd weirdness (some would say circus freak/sideshow/vaudeville quality) that is what I’m all about.
If that could turn into something like a daughter just like me and that’s the only thing that comes from it, I’ll be happy.
It’s only knuckles, right?
I don’t know what I was even talking about, but I’m happier having written it.
Maybe all I really need is the will to get started and a better editor. If you can fulfill either role, let me know in the comments.