I really badly want to be Ryan Reynolds. He’s tall, bearded, ripped and marrying a rock star chick, Alanis Morissette. Plus, we’re very close to sharing a birthday – he was born exactly 8 days after me – and we’re both bearded and tall.
Sure he was on a shitty TV show and some questionable films, but he’s buff now and he’s wedding a former child star. How could I not be jealous?
I tried explaning this to Jennifer over the weekend, but she had no desire to play Alanis to my Ryan. She didn’t want to be associated with the angsty rocker but I rebutted:
1) Jagged Little Pill was one of the seminal albums of the post-grunge 90’s
2) She got to play God in a Kevin Smith movie
3) She appears naked in a video and frequently mentions sex/sexuality in her music
That’s a pretty strong trifecta right there. Add to the mix the fact that both Reynolds and Morissette are from Canada and appeared on Nickelodeon and you’ve got a 21st century power couple. Good looking. Successful, but not A-listers. Canadian.
I officially have a celebrity couple crush. No Jen (Garner) & Ben for me. Forget Angelina and Brad. I’m all about Ryan and Alanis.
Does this make me weird? Don’t answer.