Just Say No To Crackberry

The Ten BlackBerry Commandments, via Joey Reiman

  1. Thou shalt not take the BlackBerry to any table with food on it or a family around it. A BlackBerry is not a fruit, nor does it come from a tree.
  2. Thou shalt not use the BlackBerry as reading material in the event of insomnia. It will only worsen the situation.
  3. Thou shalt not BlackBerry in lieu of responding to a child’s request (e.g., “Wait a second, I’m reading something.”).
  4. Thou shalt not place the BlackBerry within distance of hearing its incessant beeps while at home. It is not a bird.
  5. Thou shalt not check BlackBerry as if it were your baby. It will not cry or stop breathing.
  6. Thou shalt not confuse number of e-mails with self-worth.
  7. Thou shalt do everything possible to misplace your BlackBerry on weekends. “There’s No Place Like Home” will never be the tagline for the BlackBerry company.
  8. Thou shalt remember that a BlackBerry is not a body appendage. It iis a device that belongs in your briefcase, on your desk and not in social settings.
  9. Thou shalt refrain from the BlackBerry to events involving family interaction. Extraneous dialogue with this contraption in lieu of real conversation suggests addiction.
  10. Thou shalt never, ever, ever bring the BlackBerry to bed. Do this and you are BlackBuried!

The BlackBerry Commandments above hang outside the cubicle of a co-worker and come from Travel Girl magazine. They’re actually nowhere to be found online, so I’ve copied and pasted the old-fashioned way for your edification.

In my search for a digital copy, I did come upon an article in Pink Magazine that elucidates the tenth commandment. It’s also technically not online, but plenty of people are linking there.

My interest in this topic, egregious misuse of the BlackBerry, was actually spawned by my own shortcomings as husband, father, employee and BlackBerry user, tethered to work all the time.

Also, a recent Wall Street Journal article, which doesn’t paint a rosy picture of adults and their toys.

Sad, really, but indicative of the digital lifestyle and 24/7 worklife the 21st century hath wrought.

[Via Leave It Behind]

3 thoughts on “Just Say No To Crackberry

  1. I have a Blackberry and violate just about all of those commandments and don’t care. Mine is for personal use only and if I’m using/checking it, it’s due to boring company. ’nuff said

  2. eugenekim says:

    Hey Seth! Just peeped the new TBS.com redesign. Nice work! for you and the rest of the team. I’m sure you guys have been bustin’ your asses leading up to the launch esp. before the holidays. Oh and speak of, Happy Holidays.
    P.S. NEXT YEAR the Dawgs go all the way with Matthew Stafford…..as for this past year…at least we beat Tech and I’m glad I wasn’t there around Ben when we lost to Vandy!

  3. […] The friggn’ Blackberry. Where cell phones proved to us just how critical it is that we receive every phone call made to us at any time of day (be it driving, in the bathroom, or during self-circumcision) the Blackberry has proven just how vital it is that we receive Spam mail with the same zero-response time. It’s become Lumbergh’s replacement for the coffee cup; it’s something any office schlep clawing for lower-middle management can finger-fiddle with while they nod through meetings, feigning an image of responsibility. […]

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