Lucky Baker’s Dozen

As today is both my 13th wedding anniversary – [hold for applause] – and the second day of the new school year, in which we have two of our FOUR children in public school, you could forgive the Miller household for being TOTALLY FUCKING CRAZY ® TM this morning.

Getting a family of six all moving in the same direction is no easy task, especially now that we’ve decided to walk to school each morning. Since the bell rings at 7:50 this requires us to leave the house at 7:15 and – backing up our day from there – have the entire clan up-n-at’em by 6:30 at the very latest.

So in those scant, precious 45 minutes we need:

6 people dressed
4 people (ideally) fed
2 adults moving things along
0 bumps in the process

For the first few days, at least, we haven’t hit any major snags but I’m sure we’ll find something to hook ourselves upon in the very near future.

One of the factors working in our favor has been the excitement of all the participants in their new endeavors. Technically speaking all 4 kids are in new classrooms so there’s plenty of energy (mostly nervous tension) surrounding new teachers, friends and environments. It’s like the whole house has just had a bottle of Jolt Cola.

So, fueled by adrenaline as we were this morning around 6:45, I took it upon myself to get the youngest two dressed. Evie is 30 months old and Imogen is 14 months old, so neither one can dress themselves but both are very amenable to the “getting dressed” process especially when they can hang out together in their room.

Imogen was dressed first and was hovering around Evie while she lay on the floor. I was changing Evie’s diaper and preparing to pull on her skirt when Imogen, unprovoked, leaned down and tried to bite Evie’s chubby finger. Maybe it looked like a vienna sausage or a cheese puff or maybe she’s just drawn that way (or maybe it’s Shark Week, that’s why). Whatever the case may be, Evie quickly evaded the jaws of death and the following exchange ensued:

Imogen: [Bite attempt]
Evie: [Yanks hands away] NO!!
Imogen: [Stands up]
Both Girls: [Look to Dad for support]
Imogen: [To Evie] NOT! NICE!

I don’t know about you, but the sight and sound of a 14-month-old baby telling her sister “not nice” when said 14-month-old was the aggressor in a biting incident is pretty damn funny.

I’m not really sure that either girl appreciated the humor as much as I did though. My laughter caused Evie to frown (Dad wasn’t protecting her enough) and Imogen to scream.

I finished dressing Evie and went downstairs to feed both girls (and we were only about 10 minutes behind schedule) but that was truly the highlight of my morning.

If nothing else it proves that marriage (and kids) can still bring new, wonderful and potentially (literally) scarring moments at any turn.

Until next time!

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